Today is day 7 on this journey. I'll be the first to admit there have been challenges this week. My flesh has wanted to do everything: wanted to eat certain foods during a fast, wanted to tell a lie out of convenience, wanted to have sex or masturbate, wanted to say forget this whole thing and go back to the easy life, wanted to ignore the voice of God, and the list goes on. Moral of the story.. the flesh wanted nothing more than to fulfill it's every desire. But GOD, has been sooooooo faithful to strengthen me to press through those fleshly desires. Not to say it was easy. There were times I did the same thing a two year old does when a parent says no, I cried. But like the loving parent He is, God stood firm on His no and at the same time held me and comforted me. He lovingly reminded me this is for my good. At the times when I did disobey (see day 2 post), He convicted, not condemned, me and said, 'ok, you blew that decision, but we've got plenty more to get right, don't turn from me now. Let's just pick up from where you are and move forward and not make that mistake again.'
This morning the scripture that came to mind was the one that says "it's hard for you to kick against the pricks." So after googling it and finding that the scripture is in Act 9:5, where Saul was on the road to Damascus. Here's the text:
Acts 9:3-5
3And as he journeyed, he came near Damascus: and suddenly there shined round about him a light from heaven:
4And he fell to the earth, and heard a voice saying unto him, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me?
5And he said, Who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks.
6And he trembling and astonished said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do? And the Lord said unto him, Arise, and go into the city, and it shall be told thee what thou must do.
It seems like that's what God has been saying to me.. "it's hard to kick against the pricks." One of the google search results was from biblequestions.org which explained what that statement means:
Question: What does "kick against the pricks" mean?
Answer: The question is probable referring to Acts 9:5 or 26:14. Saul (later called Paul) had been persecuting Christians (Acts 9: 13,14). Even though Saul had been sincere, Saul was wrong (Acts 23: 1,26:9). Saul was acting according to the law of Moses, but this system had been abrogated (2 Cor. 3). Hence, Saul had no authority for his actions.
A large percentage of people in the first century were tillers of the soil. Oxen were used to work the soil. The prick or goad was a necessary devise. The prick was usually a wooden shaft with a pointed spike (prick) at one end. The man working the ox would position the goad in such a way as to exert influence and control over the ox. You see, if the ox refused the command indicated by the farmer, the goad would be used to jab or prick the ox. Sometimes the ox would refuse this incentive by kicking out at the prick. As result, the prick would be driven deeper into the flesh of the rebellious animal. The more the animal rebelled, the more the animal suffered. Hence, the statement to Saul: "It is hard for thee to kick against the pricks." (Saul was rebelling against God.)
God possesses total authority (see Matt. 28: 18). God therefore, has the right to "boss" man. God has given man commandments to be obeyed (IJohn 5:3). However, man may elect to disobey God (Josh. 24: 15). When man disobeys, however, man pays. "The way of transgressors is hard," wrote Solomon (Prov. 13: 20). God/man is analogous to the farmer/ox situation. When we disobey god, we hurt ourselves. When we continue to disobey and rebel, we are like the ox – driving the prick in deeper and deeper, hurting ourselves in rebelling against authority! Beloved, when will we learn? Jesus is the author of eternal salvation to all who obey him (Heb. 5: 8,9).
I think back to all the times I've heard God calling me (pricking me) out of a lifestyle of hypocrisy and to truly repent (turn away from sin) and follow Him. And each time I refused (kicked against the pricks), the prick was driven that much further in and I only caused myself more pain. I would often give God lip service and and ask for forgiveness and promise not to do it again. But that wasn't what He was asking me for. He was asking for me to allow Him to take FULL control of my life. For me to submit my will to His and let Him completely renew me. I hadn't been willing to commit to that. As a result, I was saved (meaning I believed in and confessed Jesus), but I hadn't been made new. Second Corinthians 5:17 says, "If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature:old things are passed away; behold all things are become new." After years (decades even) of being saved there was nothing new about me because I had not submitted to the process of renewal. Mentally, spiritually and physically I still had the same strongholds, and by age 29, those strongholds had had babies. I was entirely bound and God was relentless at pricking me. And I think I had become so bound that not only was it hard and painful to kick against the pricks, I literally couldn't. I had tried every way possible to avoid taking this journey that I'm now on. God is showing me that 2 Corinthians 5:17 can't be fulfilled until you submit to His process of renewal. You may have fulfilled Romans 10:9: "If you confess with your mouth that "Jesus is Lord" and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." But salvation is only the beginning. To walk in and enjoy the fullness of that salvation and all that God has for us we must be be made new by Him and through His processing. God intended for our Salvation to be the portal through which we access His kingdom, not just after we die, but while we live.
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