Are we there yet?

Have you ever taken a long trip in a car to somewhere that you've never been before?  If so, then you know how long it seems.  In the pre-GPS world, the common question was "are we there yet?"  Modern technology has spoiled us and now we always know exactly how far away we are and in some cases if there is traffic ahead and what detour we should take.

We'll today I've been asking God 'am I there yet'?  I don't have an ETA and  I don't know what road blocks I might come up against on this journey.  And I'm going somewhere that I've never been.  All that I have to guide me is the spirit of God, which is certainly more than enough.  The issue is my microwave mentality.  I want this to be done already.  I want a quick fix and an easy road.

I can remember so many times on the drive to a destination that I'm so preoccupied with how far away I am that I completely miss the beauty of the journey.  Usually on the way back home, when I'm more relaxed I'm able to see things on the route that I had not seen before.  The peacefulness of the trees along the road or the majestic grace of a mountain far off in the horizon.  These things give so much perspective when you're on the journey and take time to experience them.

I just had an "aha moment".  The thing is this journey isn't to some unknown destination.  This is the journey home.  Home to the life that God has called me to.  A life of liberation and peace; a life free from hypocrisy.  The path that I had taken before was to an unknown destination that simply became familiar after I visited and resided there for so long.  On the way there I didn't realize that the closer I got the more the beauty on the path diminished and and everything around me became colder and darker.  Now I'm on the journey back home and now I can see the beauty of all that I had left behind.

On days like today, there's a temptation to be self-loathing and condemn myself for ever leaving this wonderful home in the presence of God.  I begin to feel like the prodigal son, who was ashamed to return home and felt undeserving to be restored to his original place in his father's house.  To comeback empty handed after leaving home in pursuit of something that failed you or that you lost is a terrible feeling.  I've had moments that I'm so overwhelmed with regret that all I can do is cry.  I'm so undeserving of God's grace; the love He shows by sustaining me step by step on this journey home is overwhelming.  It's incomprehensible that despite how many times I've turned my back on Him and put other things and people before Him; He stood there patiently waiting for me to turn back to Him.  And now that I have He's walking the journey every step with me and showing me the beauty of the journey.  Grateful doesn't seem to be an adequate term to express what He's done.  To accept someone that has rejected you time and time again; to always be ready to reconcile and give them your best..that's true love.  That's God and no one else compares.