I wasn't expecting this

Have you ever started out on a trip somewhere and become utterly surprised along the way?  Perhaps you had printed out mapquest directions or put the address in your gps, had your oil changed, checked your tires, you've told everyone when you'll be arriving and made plans for once you get there.  You got on your way and then a few hours into your drive the unexpected occurs.  It could be a flat tire, car trouble, you left your wallet at the last gas stop and didn't realize it until you were trying to fill up again, sunny skies turn gray and you can't see more than a 2 feet ahead of you, there's a horrible accident that ties up traffic for 3 hours, you're in the horrible accident, there's road work, the road is closed and you have to detour, you get the point.  Well, I'm not sure why I was expecting this spiritual journey to be as predictable as a run to the grocery store.

Today is day 34 and I've encountered all of those issues and then some.  Where shall I start...

I was just reading over my earlier posts and everyday that I don't post I'm tempted to feel condemned because in my first post I made the statement that I'd post everyday for the first 40 days.  Now ain't that just like the devil to try to make you feel about something you're doing for God?  Craziness.  All God said was seek me and be transparent.  It's a trick of satan to try and turn your spiritual transformation and relationship with God into some legalistic exercise.  And it was slipping in on my journey.  Which brings me to another point- motive, but we'll come back to that later.

If you're anything like me, you may be a little impetuous.  You hear the first part of instructions, get excited and move forward full steam ahead without making sure you've heard everything or understood properly.  My antsy-ness has often been to my detriment.  When God started speaking to me about a month ago about seriously submitting to His process to unleaven my life, I heard part of what He said and I mixed it with part of what I thought sounded good.  But trust, God isn't going to tell you the entire travel plan at once and send you on your way alone.  As He says in Habukkuk  2:2-3, God gives us a vision of the destination.  The vision is to encourage us while we're on the journey.  I've been guilty of misusing the vision; rather than referring to it as a promise that God has waiting for me as a result of obeying Him, at times I've taken the vision and told God, thanks for the great idea, but I think I know a better way to get there.  And so, then I set off trying to chart my own course to a destination that He has showed me.  The problem is that apart from following His direction every step of the way, not only will I not arrive at the destination, but the destination may not even come into existence.  There could be something in the instructions that He plans on laying before me that will trigger the vision to be built, but if I'm assuming that it already exists and that I know how to get there.  I'm way off and will never get to what He has in store.  

I started out on this journey expecting that I could "do this" that it was all a matter of simply decided to make the right choices.  But what I've found out it is I can't do anything, including making the right choices, without first being led by God for the entire journey.  It's easy to become more motivated by attaining the vision or promise than loving God.  I've been guilty of doing so.  How do I know? because I'd do anything except obey Him to obtain the vision.  I did things my way.  Just like disobeying the rules of the road and detour signs can delay your arrival to a destination, dismissing the importance of obeying God will delay your arrival to the promise that God has for us.